Edibles and Golf: The Whys and The Why Knots
The experiments with golf and cannabis began in earnest in 2018. These were not called experiments at the time, though we were experimenting on multiple levels, but rather they were labeled research that could be used later for a true experiment. It was work too, I mean we were on the clock and doing it for corporate purposes that had nothing to do with Canna West. In fact, the owner of Canna West looked at us like we were nuts when we asked for some edible advice that would pertain to golf.
I’ll be really honest here, we were on a quest to turn a choke artist into a champion, and had theorized that cannabis was his key. The results were not what we expected. It was his key, but also his downfall, depending upon how he applied it. Smoking it was okay and the norm, but eating became his jam, and mine by proxy. There is a fine line with edibles, however, and golf. That is, if you care about your score. Too many milligrams of any edible will destroy any notion of par, whereas too little might not have the desired effect. Experimentation is key.
Considering how nice the weather has been of late, perhaps golf is on your calendar and you and your friends want to get a little bit lost out there? Because if that is the case, you came to the right place. I can help you, and your ball, get really lost. I could also, as stated above, turn you into a carbon copy of Jay Don Blake, my favorite journeyman touring professional golfer of all time. It really does depend on what you ingest, and of course how much. To make things flow a bit, I’ve broken golfers who ingest edibles into three easy categories, along with some product suggestions:
- The Players: these people can shoot under 80 with no practice, ever. They love pressure situations and typically thrive in them. Their swings are like butter. The only thing that can disrupt The Player from shooting a beautiful round is alcohol, or cannabis applied the wrong way. A Player willing to roll the dice might find the zone and thrive on a 2 ounce shot of fast acting THC (100 mg) and CBN (50 mg) from Wildside Max, which is an indica. Competitive golf has a tendency to rattle the mind, so the last thing that person wants is a sativa. The Pineapple Orange-Guave indica shot is tiny and it tastes good. Just sip it slowly so you don’t get hit with 100mgs on the first tee.
- The Chokers: the choker is made up of handicaps of all types. No one knows who the choker is until tournament time, or when some money is on the line. They typically put their first tee shot out of bounds, or dump one in the lake fronting the tee box on a pressure-packed 15th hole. There is a fix for this problem and it involves eating a Lush Strawberry 1:1 CBD/THC Soft Jelly Chew and a pack of Trident gum. Eat the gummy an hour before you tee off, and then if necessary, re-dose on the 8th hole. Chew the gum when you start feeling stressed. Boom. No more choking. This is where my research partner turned from research partner into Jay Don Blake while throttling me in a match. It was awesome.
- The Jokers: this is where the rest of us live – playing golf simply as a source of fun with our friends. The game is just something that happens, while we walk around what is essentially a pretty park, or even drive a mini car, essentially looking for something we have lost; our ball. The score is not really important to the joker, even though someone ends up buying lunch for some reason when the jokers get together. The goal in playing joker golf is to maximize the amount of enjoyment one can have on a golf course, and we do so by hitting the ball as many times as we can! Well, the same advice applies to cannabis and the joker. The ringleader might enjoy a Journeyman Berry Lemonade ($12 for 100mg) before teeing off, and his or her fellow jokers could follow suit, or flip the script and hit the Cormorant Blueberry Sorbet ($10 for 100mg. The nap later is fire.
Every golfer, minus the professionals, fits into one, two or all three of the categories listed above. 70% of them, however, spend most of their time in Jokerland and are perfectly happy there, because the name of the game is fun, even if it is competitive. Eat and be merry, but stay away from alcohol. The mix will turn a fun adventure into a stumble-venture, which is not fun.